


Learning Each Other (Got a Lot to Learn)

by Laylah



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Aphrodisiacs, Community: kink_bingo, Karkat's pants octopus, M/M, PWP, Podfic Available, Tentacles, Xeno
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-31
Updated: 2012-01-31
Packaged: 2017-10-30 10:32:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,808
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/330763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laylah/pseuds/Laylah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Karkat," you say, because it feels amazing but you can't help yourself, "is that an octopus in your pants or are you just happy to see me?"</p><p>"That is the stupidest pickup line in either of our universes," Karkat says, his face gray-red and his pupils huge, "and I <i>dare</i> you to find out."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Learning Each Other (Got a Lot to Learn)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Learning Each Other](https://archiveofourown.org/works/232408) by [nan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nan/pseuds/nan). 



> ...I am irrationally fond of the fanon trope that cross-species spit-swapping is an aphrodisiac, okay. PANTS OFF, BOYS, GO GO GO.
> 
> ETA: Podfic by Rhea available here: http://amplificathon.dreamwidth.org/2016642.html

You are pretty sure that sloppy greedy makeouts with an alien boy were never on your past self's to-do list. You are willing to bet this was a simple oversight on your past self's part. Making out with Karkat makes you _giddy_ , and has pretty much since the first instant he stormed up to you and mashed his lips to yours: you went from not-so-sure-about-this to enthusiastically-in-favor in recordbreaking time, fast enough that you would suspect him of doing some kind of mind whammy thing if he weren't already suspecting you.

"What did you _do_ , Egbert," he's saying—moaning, even—and you're really glad that Rose and Kanaya started herding the others out of the room as soon as he kissed you. You're not sure you'd be able to stop even if they were still here, even if Dave were providing commentary. It's that intense.

"Me?" you say against his mouth as your hands take the initiative to slide up under his shirt and find out that his back feels like suede stretched drum-tight over the washboard of his ribs. "You started it! Don't stop, by the way."

He growls, and nips at your earlobe in a way that almost hurts too much but is instead sort of glorious. "No way I'm stopping," he promises. Or threatens, maybe. Big tough trolls probably _threaten_ to make people feel this good. (Karkat is five inches taller than you. Six if you count from the tips of his goofy little horns. Even giddy and brain-whammied from making out, you are pretty sure you will kill the mood if you tell him how adorable they are.)

You have spent three years on a spacetime battleship pretending like crazy that you didn't have any hormones, which means that now your hormones are happening like Mount St. Helens. You hold onto the belt loops of Karkat's jeans and grind against him like you mean it, and something in his pants squirms enthusiastically. Not just twitches, the way your cock will sometimes do when you are failing the hormones-what-hormones game, but _wiggles_. "Karkat," you say, because it feels amazing but you can't help yourself, "is that an octopus in your pants or are you just happy to see me?"

"That is the stupidest pickup line in either of our universes," Karkat says, his face gray-red and his pupils huge, "and I _dare_ you to find out."

Never let it be said that you will back down when you are dared to do something awesome. You free one hand so you can stuff it down the front of his jeans. Karkat's pants octopus wraps a tentacle around your wrist and squeezes, and your brain pretty much goes ajksdfhkdf. "Wow," you say, "holy crap let me _see_."

That is maybe not the most polite request you have ever made, but Karkat spent the last three years on a flying space rock pretending he didn't have any hormones, either, and then both of your clothes are going flying, while you say things to each other like "I can't believe how _pink_ you are" and "Wow, you really do have tentacles, that's awesome."

There's a disheveled, nervous second there where you're both naked and you're just staring at each other and your heart is going about a zillion miles an hour, and then by unspoken agreement there is mutual tackling and rolling and rubbing up against each other like you will die if you don't get close enough. He feels like suede all over and his skin smells like sun-warm stone, and his tentacles seem to get bigger as you make out together, wrapping in squirmy coils around your arms, your legs, your cock.

"How do we um," you say, your face buried in his hair. "I've never done this before."

"As if I have?" Karkat says. "You think I've just been going around pailing aliens left and nnnnnngh," and that last part is because you licked one of his horns because they look so much like candy corn that it seemed like a good idea. They don't taste like candy corn at all—they don't taste like much of anything—but that noise was great, so you suck on the one you were just licking and he goes buzzing tense all over, making this strangled sound in his throat while all his tentacles tighten their grip on you. You feel like you have just won _everything_.

Karkat must want to win everything too, because he rallies after a minute or two of being a flailpuddle and uses all of his grabby appendages to wrestle you away from his horns and pin you. That's a little sudden! But you go along with it, partly because you are friends and you trust Karkat, and partly because your brain is still full of _yes please everything is great_.

"You feel so breakable," he says, and he sounds honestly upset for the first time since you started making out. His breath is hot on the back of your neck. "I don't want to—you know."

"Hurt me?" you say helpfully. You can feel it when he nods. "I'm not hurting. It's awesome. You're awesome." You can feel his tentacles shifting against your ass, and past you _definitely_ never put this on his to-do list but present you is kind of open to the idea. So to speak, hehe. "Humans are tougher than we look, okay? So go on."

Karkat growl-moans, wrapping his arms around your middle and sitting up, pulling you into his lap. His tentacles twine around your arms, your legs, pulling them spread, and it is almost the most amazing thing in the world. "Please," you say, "Karkat, my cock."

"Yeah, I'm getting there, quit fucking whining," he says and you would swear he's smiling from the sound of his voice. Another tentacle slips up between your legs, tickling the crease of your thigh a little bit before it starts to wrap around your cock—and there's another one, gosh, how many does he have, slick and squirming its way into your ass.

"Oh," you say, "oh, Karkat, wow," because hey, who's going for the immediate gold medal in alien sexytimes? It's you. You lean back, resting your head against him, and the tentacle wrapped around your cock is doing this amazing squirm-squeeze-shift routine while the one in your ass slowly, slowly fills you up. It feels like—like it keeps sliding in a little deeper, and then pulsing, and getting _thicker_ , and you can rock your hips a little but Karkat's holding you pinned open too much for you to really move.

But that's okay, you don't really need to move much, because Karkat is honestly doing all the work for you. Maybe you should feel guilty about that? But probably if he was worried about it he wouldn't be pinning you in place like this to begin with. And it feels kind of great to let him take care of you like this. Or maybe he's supposed to be dominating you, since trolls are all fierce and scary or whatever—the point is, it feels awesome.

You tell him so, stumbling over the words when the tentacle (tentacles plural? it sure feels big, anyway) inside you squirms in an especially hot way, or when the one curled around your cock squeezes just right, and you're pretty sure he must be learning from your incoherence, because he's doing the things that set you off over and over again. Which is not a complaint, the opposite of a complaint, as all that giddy excited wonderful _yes_ starts to spiral in toward the pit of your stomach, the base of your spine, the base of your cock—who is rapidly approaching the big finishing move? It's you—and the very tip of one tentacle trails across the head of your cock to tease the slit, and your body decides that is the hottest ever and you are _done_ , clenching down hard around him and seeing stars as you tremble in his arms.

"Oh, fuck," Karkat says, "oh fuck, oh fuck," but he curses all the time so it's not until he says, "fuck, talk to me, Egbert, are you okay?" that you realize he's freaking out.

"What?" you say then, because of all the times to ask something like that—"I'm fine, Karkat, I'm great, actually."

He clings tighter to you, like an octopus koala. "You are not _great_ , you rotpanned grubmunching idiot, you just had a _seizure_!"

It may be the most culturally insensitive thing you have ever done, but you laugh. You can't help it. "Karkat! Really it's okay!" you manage between giggles, "I promise, everything's fine!" He doesn't stop doing a koalapus impression. "It wasn't a seizure," you tell him. "It was an orgasm. A good one." That makes you curious, though, enough that you try to twist around in his lap and look over your shoulder to try to get a glimpse of his face. "Wait, do trolls not do that? Do you seriously not have orgasms?"

Karkat glares at you through the fringe of his hair. You fail to be intimidated. "Maybe we just don't call them by your stupid human word," he says. "Or else we have something infinitely better."

Yep. No intimidation here. "The, um, climax?" you suggest, in case that is a word that will ring some bells. "The part where you release your, uh, genetic material?"

"Humans release genetic material _every time_?" Karkat says. You can't tell if he's awed or horrified or both. His tentacles are slowly loosening, so you can move a little more to look at him.

"Yeah, just about!" you confirm. "Well, male humans do. Female humans...." Biology class was a few years ago by now and at the time it was a lot more embarrassing than interesting. You wouldn't want to give Karkat incorrect information! At least not by accident. It's not funny if you don't know you're doing it. "You can ask Jade about female humans."

Karkat just shakes his head, staring at you. "You are the most _mind-bogglingly_ inefficient species I have _ever heard of_ ," he says. You can tell he's about as disappointed as you are intimidated.

You squirm a little more intently and Karkat gets the hint, tentacles easing back off of you and _out_ of you and man that feels weird, but whatever, there are more important things right now. "Okay, mister efficiency," you say. "Trolls don't have orgasms, fine. What _do_ you have that feels good?"

"It's complicated," he says. Is he pouting? He's totally pouting. "Your feeble human thinkpan couldn't keep up."

"Bluh bluh, I'm Karkat, I'm too big and tough to bother making sense," you say. You can see him struggling not to smile. You drape your arms over his shoulders. "Come on. Try me."

He does.

It's awesome.


End file.
